I sit here on my computer right now the kids were in school all day and then I took them to tennis practice. We met Deanna for dinner at a new Thai food restaurant called Thai Foon. It was only open a few days so they have some kinks to work out but the food was really good and inexpensive. Eli and Reagan are doing their homework late tonight because after tennis and dinner Eli had cub scouts and of coarse Reagan had to go to.
I digress because mostly I wanted to post today because I have recognized yet again I am going into depression again. I dont understand how or why but I seem to at least recognize I am getting into a funk. It seem to start right about the time the kids went back to school. I find myself sitting here all day long with nothing to do and no one to talk too.
I do enjoy being in Pittsburgh but honestly I dont have any friends here or family. I am struggling to find myself again and know what my purpose is in life. I have no goals and no natural sense to motivate myself to get up off my chair and live life.
I see so many people half my age who have already succeeded in life and have a path set for them. I am 35 years old now and have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. Will I ever grow up?
So why would any sane person right this kind of stuff down on here and admit to having so many issues. I dont really have anyone I can talk too when I feel this way and although it only happens a few times a year it does effect me to the point that I am miserable and I make those around me miserable as well.
I dont know what I need to get out of this particular funk sometimes it is obvious other times I figure it out over time. A good cry always helps me too but I am not ready to do that yet it is kind of my last resort fix.
I dont know if I hope someone reads this and replies or if I hope no one does and sees what a wacko I really am.
You’re not wacko, I have those feelings too. It’s being home alone, it’s the change in the season, it’s seeing everyone else in your family get up and get ready for ’something’ each day. I have been thinking about volunteering at the school or something, just to get out of the house and to have something to feel good about. Hang in there, I know exactly how you feel, I have you in my prayers.
Oh crap someone does read this lol good thing I didnt write anything bad about anybody you know
Thanks for the encouragement it is much appreciated. I hope it works out for you too. I just struggle not having a purpose in life and dont know how or what I want to do. I thought about volunteering at the kids school too but I get tired of telling people I am a stay-at-home dad and getting the obligatory “oh that is nice or wow you are lucky” I feel like a lepur when I am around other mothers at my kids school. So I stay hidden in my house like a hermit.
Eventually I need to find something that doesnt make me feel like something with a negative connotation.
What you need is a national title for the Buckeyes! No, seriously. I have been WAY happier since I started working 9 hours a week. It’s a life separate from my normal routine. I have my own set of friends/coworkers and feel good about earning/spending money. Maybe you can find something to fill up your time during the day. I’ll keep chewing on this one and get back to you if I think of a good one. Perhaps a business that recovers golf balls from ponds…oh…wait…
YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!! Be happy, please! We all miss you in Columbus and will fight Pittsburgh with prison rules to get you back.
Thanks Greta that made me laugh….. Reagan keeps asking me to become a lunch lady so she can see me every day for lunch lol. The best part is she could have said lunch man or lunch person but she said lady. I guess deep down I will always be a “pretty lady” at heart. I am still hoping that President of Team Jaguar will become a paid position
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Asian, and especially Thai food, is gaining in popularity world wide. I encourage everyone to add a little diversity to thier lives by trying some different flavors like this.
golf balls…
[...]Nobody reads this so I can say what I want
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