I sit here on my computer right now the kids were in school all day and then I took them to tennis practice. We met Deanna for dinner at a new Thai food restaurant called Thai Foon. It was only open a few days so they have some kinks to work out but the food was really good and inexpensive. Eli and Reagan are doing their homework late tonight because after tennis and dinner Eli had cub scouts and of coarse Reagan had to go to.
I digress because mostly I wanted to post today because I have recognized yet again I am going into depression again. I dont understand how or why but I seem to at least recognize I am getting into a funk. It seem to start right about the time the kids went back to school. I find myself sitting here all day long with nothing to do and no one to talk too.
I do enjoy being in Pittsburgh but honestly I dont have any friends here or family. I am struggling to find myself again and know what my purpose is in life. I have no goals and no natural sense to motivate myself to get up off my chair and live life.
I see so many people half my age who have already succeeded in life and have a path set for them. I am 35 years old now and have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. Will I ever grow up?
So why would any sane person right this kind of stuff down on here and admit to having so many issues. I dont really have anyone I can talk too when I feel this way and although it only happens a few times a year it does effect me to the point that I am miserable and I make those around me miserable as well.
I dont know what I need to get out of this particular funk sometimes it is obvious other times I figure it out over time. A good cry always helps me too but I am not ready to do that yet it is kind of my last resort fix.
I dont know if I hope someone reads this and replies or if I hope no one does and sees what a wacko I really am.